


Lost in the Dream

by drownink



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 20:47:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16818202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drownink/pseuds/drownink
Summary: Shownu and Kihyun dream of each other every night even though they've never met before in real life. Every night, they become closer to each other, to the point of almost being lovers.However, when they wake up, they forget about each other, and all that remains of their time together is a distant dream. When they wake up, they do so with tears in their eyes, and with the ghost of someone in their arms.Based on the song Lost in the Dream by Monsta X





	Lost in the Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea when I was listening to Lost in the Dream for the 100 billionth time and couldn't help but write it. Showki's parts in this song gave me so many feels  
> ( ；∀；)
> 
> Kihyun:  
> Like I’m plunging, I fall into this deeply penetrating dream  
> Call me (you)  
> Hold me (you)
> 
> Shownu:  
> I'm burning in this moment  
> Can’t ever wake from this dream  
> Call me (you)  
> Hold me even if it’s a fantasy

1.)

'Where am I?' Kihyun thought to himself as he looked around his surroundings. Just moments ago he had collapsed onto his bed after a long night shift. Completely drained, he passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself completely surrounded by a sea of clouds. Above him, the moon shines brightly in the night sky, and casts an ethereal light on the clouds. Without any buildings or light pollution, Kihyun could see millions and billions of stars scattered across the sky, emitting light from galaxies away. The whole scene took his breath away. He had never seen such a beautiful sight before.

Is this a dream? Kihyun wondered. The scenery was more beautiful than any dream he had before. In the past, they were always filled with endless piles of homework, bills, and dishes he had to wash at his part time job at the restaurant. His dreams, or nightmares really, reflected who he is as a person; a young, broke college student, constantly under the pressure of his work like a rubber band stretched taut and ready to snap.

He laid down on the clouds and gazed at the heavens. It was the softest thing he had ever felt in his entire life. However even though he was relaxed, there was still something nagging him at the back of his mind.

Did he die and go to heaven? He thought about it and it seemed like a a high possibility. He had overworked himself countless of times before, and continued to abuse his body while ignoring his body's protests. There's only so much a work a person can handle after all. So maybe his body had decided enough was enough and gave up on him. In his mind, he had no choice. Living is costly, especially when you're a college student. The bills and tuition fees won't pay itself.

However, he regrets his actions now. He's only 19 and he's already dead because he was too stupid and sacrificed his life for nothing. His eyes teared up a bit at this point. All the time he spent working his ass off in the greasy kitchens scrubbing dishes till his hands are raw was for nothing. All the time he stayed up for 36 hours trying to hand in his assignment before deadline after a whole nights shift was for nothing. Yoo Kihyun died at 19 and accomplished nothing.

Tears were running down the sides of his face but he was too frustrated at himself to wipe them off. He thought about his pathetic dreams of becoming a singer and sobbed. He thought about his mom, of how he promised her that he would work hard to accomplish his dreams and sobbed harder. He thought about his roommate finding his cold corpse on his bed in the morning sobbed even more.

"At least Minhyuk will be happy that there's no one who would nag at him now." He said and chuckled at himself sadly.

He wiped his tears off his face and looked up at the galaxy above him. He felt small and insignificant. In the scale of things, he really is. Him dying was just a small insignificant event in the massive whirlpool that is the universe, and that sort of comforts him a little.

"Maybe dying isn't a bad thing after all" He sighed to himself. Sometimes he wanted to give up on the endless struggle that is his life. However his pride wouldn't allow him to. Even though it was exhausting, he challenged himself to work as hard as he can so that he could achieve his dreams. However, it didn't matter now. He would have work another night shift again.

It wasn't long before Kihyun's eyelids felt heavy. Crying had made him exhausted and this was the most relaxed he was for a long while. He closed his eyes and felt himself sinking into the clouds. Soon enough, he drifted off to sleep, on top of a bed of clouds and below a blanket of stars.

-

Kihyun's eyes snapped open when he felt someone shaking his shoulder. He was always extremely sensitive when he was sleeping so no matter how relaxed he was, he's always alert. The person who shook his sholder flinched when Kihyun jolted from his touch. He didn't mean to suprise him, he just didn't didn't know what to do in a situation like this.

"Err...Hi." The person said awkwardly with his hand still frozen in mid air.

Alarmed by the other person's presence, Kihyun looked at him as if he fell out of the sky. The person was a man who looked slightly older than his age but with a significant larger build, Kihyun noted. Under the moonlight, he looked extremely handsome yet it contradicted with the confused expression on his face. Oh, and he wasn't wearing a top.

Kihyun's face flushed and he snapped his eyes away from the man's naked body. Even though he only had one look of it, the image of his sculpted abs was burned into Kihyun mind.

"W-why the hell are you naked?" Kihyun hated the way he stuttered and blushed but he couldn't really care at the moment right now. This situation was too bizzare.

"Er sorry, sorry. When I woke up here, it was like this. This is what I usually wear to sleep. I'm sorry for scaring you awake you too." The man explained. Honestly, he's usually cool with other guys seeing him topless and seeing other guys topless as well, however for the first time in forever he felt shy with this stranger.

"It's-uh-It's fine." Kihyun replied. He knew that he shouldn't overreact like this but he couldn't help it. His homesexual ass just can't look at the attractive man straight in the eyes because he feels like he's about to explode.

"Who are you? And why are you here?" Kihyun asked while still averting his eyes. If he's in a dream or in heaven, why is this stranger that he's never met before in his life here then?

"I was about to ask the same question here. I thought that I was in heaven so when I saw you, I thought that you were some kind of angel or something." The stranger replied and didn't realize that he called another guy an angel before it was too late. He felt his face getting hot and was relieved that his tan skin didn't reveal blushes very well.

There's something alluring about Kihyun to him. His eyes, his lips and even his adorable cheeks screamed perfect to him. He looked otherworldly when he had his eyes closed while lying on the clouds and the man couldn't help but staring at his long eyelashes before waking him up. When doing so, he noticed tears hanging from Kihyun's eyelashes, and his heart ached thinking about Kihyun crying himself to sleep.

Kihyun's face couldn't turn any more redder. This man is trying to kill him. His heart was beating so erratically that Kihyun thought that it was going to break through his ribcage. Both of them remained silent. The awkwardness in the atmosphere is palpable.

"Er...I'm not...an...uh..." It was hard for Kihyun to say anything because he was so embarrassed. "I'm not an angel or anything like that." Kihyun continued with difficulty..

"My name's Yoo Kihyun. Who are you?" He asked and held out his hand.

"I'm Son Hyunwoo. You can call me Shownu." Shownu replied and shook Kihyun's hand. Shownu hands felt large and warm in Kihyun's and Shownu can't get over how perfectly their hands fit together. They shook hands for a awkwardly long period of time before Kihyun panicked and pulled his hand out of Shownu's grasp.

"This is too bizzare." Kihyun changed the topic quickly and avoided thinking about the handshake. "I was in my room just moments ago and when I opened my eyes I'm in this strange place. Are we dead?" Kihyun asked.

"I don't know. But it could be possible." Shownu sighed and felt his heart constrict when Kihyun looked distressed at his words. He honestly have no idea what's going on.

A sense of dread hangs in the air, and despite their peaceful surroundings, their minds are in a turmoil right now.

"Were you crying just now?" Shownu asked timidly. He was afraid of possibly crossing Kihyun's personal boundary but right now he's needs to know if Kihyun's okay.

"H-how did you know?" Kihyun was so shocked that he started stuttering again.

"I uhh" Shit. He shouldn't have said that. Now Kihyun will think he's a creep. He scrambled his head and said "uhh, you still have tears on your cheeks."

"Really?" Kihyun frantically raised his sleeves to wipe his tears but ended up wiping on the wrong side.

"Uhh it's on your other side. Here just lemme-" before Shownu could stop himself, his hands moved by themselves to wipe away Kihyun's tears.

Kihyun froze. They were so close and all he could see is Shownu's abs almost plastered in front of his face. Inside, Kihyun was screaming. What did he do to deserve this? Shownu wanted to punch himself. He obviously made Kihyun uncomfortable but he couldn't stop now because it would be awkward. He pulled himself away gave Kihyun some space. He looked like he needed it.

Kihyun's face is as red as a lobster now. His mind couldn't fuction well and he couldn't say anything besides a small "thank you" to Shownu.

Shownu felt like dying. Oh wait he might be already dead. And this is what his heaven looks like. God, this guy is too cute. Wait, fuck that was weird, why did he think that another guy was cute?

"No problem. Would you like to sit down?" He said and sat down on the clouds instead of trying to analyze his thoughts.

Kihyun hestitated briefly, but joined Shownu nonetheless. Both of them couldn't find words to speak, and stayed silent instead. They looked at everywhere except for each other and hoped to find something that would break the silence.

Suddenly, Shownu let out a sigh and collapsed onto the clouds. Kihyun's eyes snapped towards him, startled at his sudden action.

"I can't believe I'm dead." Shownu uttered while staring at the moon. He thought about his parents, and his career that had just started to take flight, and felt frustration and disappointment. He still can't beileve that his life ended there. In a whim, Shownu decided to tell his story to Kihyun.

He talked about how grateful he was when his parents supported his dream of becoming an idol. He talked about how happy he was when he found out that he passed his audition. He talked about how proud his parents were when he told them the news. He was so close to accomplishing his dream, and now it's all gone. 

This was the most Shownu talked in forever. The emotions that were usually bottled in him bursted like a broken dam. All that blood, sweat, and tears, and he died at the age of 21. It all ended before it even started.

Shownu thought about how his parents will react to the news of his death. As the only child they had, they could only take care of each other if he died. They're old now, and despite their reassurance that they have enough money, Shownu knows that they spent a lot on his training. Shownu doesn't know what he will do if one of them collapses. 

Despite being extremely distraught, he didn't even cry once. He felt too empty inside to do so. Instead, he looked aimlessly and the stars, hoping to find an answer that's not there. Looking at the galaxy calmed Shown emotions a little. Despite all the troubles he had, it was calm, peaceful and unfazed. It made him think that everything will be okay no matter what.

Kihyun stared at him with mixed emotions in his eyes. He knows how Shownu feels, but at the same time, he can't help but feel sorry for Shownu. Unlike Kihyun, Shownu had so much going for him, however, it all ended before it even started. When Shownu didn't feel like talking about his life anymore, Kihyun shared his life story as well.

He talked about when he was young, he didn't know why was he attracted to boys in his class instead of being attracted to girls like all his other friends. He talked about being found out by his dad that he was gay then being kicked out from his house. He talked how his mom encouraged him to follow his dreams and go to college despite being piss poor.

By the end of it, they were lying side by side, staring at the moon wistfully. Both of them felt a connection with each other. They were two young souls who died too early, and didn't have the chance to fufill their dreams. 

They had gotten tired thinking about everything and soon enough, their eyelids had gotten heavy. Together, they drifted off to sleep, on top of a bed of clouds and below a blanket of stars.

-

Kihyun woke up immediately as a ray of sun hits his across the face. He opened his eyes and found himself in his familiar room. The first thing Kihyun realized was how amazing that sleep felt. As he was blinking of the remnants of his sleep, he felt like he had had a long dream. He feels energized and well rested despite only having 4 hours of sleep, which was unusual because he would wake up feeling like a pile of shit even with 6. Perhaps he slept like a rock because he was exhausted, Kihyun thought to himself.

He yawned, stretched and got up to get prepared for his classes. Something was still wrong though, he felt like he had forgotten something. He tried to remember the contents of his dream but couldn't do so no matter how hard he tried. Oh well, Kihyun shrugged. It was just a dream. 

Suddenly, he felt an impulse to do something. Something he should've done more often but was often forgotten instead. He pulled out his phone, scrolled through his contacts and found a number. He dialed and waited for a response. 

Doot-doot 

Doot-doot 

Beep

"Hello?"

"Hey mom, it's been a while now."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for my bad writing, if you find any mistakes (there will be many), please tell me in the comments. Thank you UwU


End file.
